I am off to bed... It's been a long day and I am tired.
This has been a particularly rough week behavior wise w/ J.... His behavior had mellowed out here at home and several weeks ago started escalating at school..... But, now his behavior at home is starting to be more negative.... I get exhausted..... We are working on some things.... So, I hope we can get him back on track both at school and home again soon.
Above is just one of J's many works of art he has made while living with us. He loves to draw or create with play dough. He can draw/color for hours sometimes..... He has recently learned how to spell my name.... I had to spell it to him several times but, now he can do it.... When he came to stay with us, I didn't realize he knew how to write his name until he showed me one night shortly after coming here. He has since learned how to spell one of our cat Jessie's name and my hubby... But, his shortened name is only 3 letters.... But, mine-- is a whole 7 letters long! I was so proud when he told me 'Don't spell it to me-- I know it now!'. We take his magna doodle or his text n learn game and he asks me to spell stuff to him and we practice letters or spelling words on the way to and from daycare. He is soooo smart!
In a few weeks it will be the 6 mo anniversary of J coming to stay with us. I think they are getting closer and closer to transitioning J back home.... I know in my heart this is what he wants and we talk about 'being friends' even after he leaves... He asks me all the time and I tell him if he wants to see me I would love to stay his 'friend'.... I wonder though if it will really happen... They talk about maintaining connections in FC classes but, I wonder if the family will really want us in their lives... They probably won't want a reminder of this time..... Thinking of that makes me a little sad.... I love J so much and thinking about him leaving is bitter sweet for me.... I want him to be happy and back with his family that he loves so much but, there is a piece of my heart that I think will always belong to him....
My brother and his girlfriend are just weeks away from having their first baby together (she has a daughter from a previous relationship).... This has been a hard pregnancy for me because as the oldest child, I always dreamed of being the first to have a grandchild on our side of the family.... That will never happen now even if we end up adopting.... So, I am a little sad about that fact.... I know I need to 'put on my big girl panties and deal with it' but, honestly sometimes I am very glad that he lives 2 1/2 hrs away so I don't have to deal with this all the time....
One last thing... I am thinking about making my blog private.... I would let anyone who is following it now join but, sometimes I don't really write or write what I want because of the situation and not knowing exactly who is really reading.... I have been thinking about it for a while and haven't made up my mind 100% yet but, wanted to put it out there..... I will keep you updated on my decision and give you time to let me know if you would want to be included.