Monday, Monday....

This morning my hubby and I took J to preschool... We got to see his room and meet his teacher... She is very nice and seems very caring.... When we went to leave, J hugged me tight and for the first time gave me a kiss on the cheek.... I have been very careful to let him decide if what/when he wanted to show 'affection' to us... Then I got to work and the case worker called to see how the weekend went.... She also told me that J will most likely be with us a little while longer but eventually leave..... They want to keep him, his older sister and a younger sibling together (younger sibling isn't removed yet but, I guess they think it may happen soon) so they will be looking for a foster home that can care for them all.... I totally understand but, feel bad because we only have room for 2 children so we can't even have the option...

I tried to be strong but, I have to admit I broke down a few times at work today (thank goodness for having my own office now) thinking about how he is too young to understand that we do care for him, and that he didn't do anything wrong.... it's nobody's fault.... It's just a crazy situation.... There will be a 'team' meeting tomorrow that they would like one of us attend.... I am going to see if I can get off to go.... I just hope I can be strong through it....

My hubby is sooo supportive.... he knows this will be hard for me..... I thought I would be ok when I said yes but, you just see this cute little boy that is lovable and you just forget for a moment that he may leave you...... I don't know if I can go through this again.... But, I am not sure I can give up my dream of being a Mommy....

I hope I can get the strength to get through the meeting tomorrow ok... I will let you know how it goes....

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers..... They are much appreciated!