Happy Spring!

My sister & I picked this shirt out for J a couple weeks ago.... He always says 'Hey Girrrlll' when he sees girls-- especially pretty ones (of all ages!)

We went to the park/zoo to enjoy this beautiful first day of Spring! (yeah, I now realize I set the wrong date on the camera when I put the batteries in this morning)

We met my friends and their daughter there.... J & J playing in the sand.....

J and his new 'girl' J walking in the zoo..... He wanted to hold her hand but, she didn't have time for that ;0)

Today was the first day of Spring... It was beautiful out so my friends invited J and I to meet them at the park..... J had never met their daughter J yet.... He didn't really seem interested in her at first because in his eyes she is still a 'baby' (she is 2 1/2) and he is a big boy.... But, as the afternoon went on he started showing interest and trying to get her to play with him but, then she was too busy to care.... Isn't that the way it goes in life? One party is interested and the other isn't then when party #1 is interested party #2 isn't.... They learn early don't they? The park & zoo are right next to each other so, after they played we walked through the zoo.... Both places were packed... After all the 'snow days' our area had this winter I think everyone wanted to enjoy the day...... J played in the sand box the most while we were at the park so, I think we are going to invest in one for him at home because he loves to create stuff...

After the zoo we drove by Rita's to get a treat... It was packed (they give out free stuff on the first day of spring) and so I didn't think J would wait in that line so, we went down the road to Baskin Robbins and he enjoyed a treat from there.... After enjoying our treat we went home to throw the football around and blow bubbles until J decided he didn't like the bugs and wanted to go inside.... It was a good day! I was so proud of J doing such a good job at taking turns with the toys at the sand box and waiting his turn for the slides..... He can be impatient sometimes so, I was a proud 'Mama' to see that!

We finished the night off by watching Scooby Doo... He loves that movie and I can't believe I had never watched them before now.... The actual 'movie' ones not the cartoons... Don't get me wrong the cartoons are cool too but, the movies they made several years ago are so funny! I enjoy them just as much as J I think!

While we were at the park, I saw someone who I had not seen in years.... She said hi and asked who J was.... I quietly said 'He is our foster son' (didn't want the whole park to hear) and she said 'Oh, he's cute.... How long do you get to keep him?' I told her we don't know and that he had been with us since October... She said 'Is he local?' and I said yes.... Then I said something that let her know his family gets visits (sorry can't remember because her next comment shocked me-- kinda) and she said 'So, they just want someone else to raise their kids?' I don't know this didn't sit with me very well.... I just left it by telling her his family is working to get him back.... Then I changed the subject by asking about her daughter and she introduced me to her 20 mo old son I had never seen (she is more an old friend of my hubby than mine so, we don't really see each other much)...

One thing I forgot to mention the last time I posted, was a cute thing J said a few weeks ago... We were eating pizza at my in-laws house and someone called him 'Darling' and he said "I am not a darling, I am the foster son!' I tell you-- the things kids say.... He has heard me call him my foster son and he is conflicted that I am doing 'Mommy' things but, I am not his Mommy. I told him Mr. T and I are substitute parents like when his teacher is out he has a substitute in school.... But to hear him come out with this so matter of factly cracked us up inside... We didn't want him to think we were laughing at him....

Well, I am exhausted from our busy day... I have been going non stop (almost I did watch most of Scooby Doo w/ J) since I got up this morning... Happy Spring everyone!

Bad Blogger......

Hello there! I have been a bad blogger lately and I am sorry.... Every time I say I am going to sit down and write, something happens and I don't get too....

Unsupervised visits have been mixed up lately for J. He has had 2 overnight weekend visits and some day visits. Shortly after the first overnight visit, J has been having some behavior issues at school. DSS, the school and I are working to get him back on track.... They are going to get back on a 'regular' schedule so, hopefully it will help J.

It's getting really hard to balance work and appointments for J. I have only been at my current job 8 months and I am nervous to push my luck at work. The caseworkers don't seem to understand sometimes.... They don't stress the 'it's your job as a foster parent' thing when it comes to appointments in my opinion when you are taking the classes.... I am don't know if it truly is, but, they make you feel like it.... I try to do the best I can and my co-worker and supervisor have been really understanding... But, what if they stop? I cannot jeopardize my job. I try to voice this and they say they understand but, I don't think they really do. I understand they have a lot of children to 'watch over' too but, I just don't know what to do.

J's behavior has been better at home... He is listening to us better... That's a plus! I am so glad spring is almost here... We have had some nice weather the last few days..... I can't wait til it stays warm and we can go out and do things with J again.... I want to take him to a local minor league baseball game, the beach and the park....

That's about it for now..... Again I apologize for being a 'bad blogger'... I will try to do better :0)

Happy 5th Birthday J!

J's Batman birthday balloon!

J's birthday cake (my sis made it) and decorations

Opening presents! He wanted to open 'the big one' first and this was it!

Playing with his new SpongeBob video game!

Today was J's 5th birthday. He was at a family visit this weekend and got home this evening so we had a quick little birthday celebration when he got home. I asked him a few weeks ago what he wanted his birthday theme to be and he chose Batman. It was fun to buy decorations and 'plan' it. He was excited when he came in and saw the presents and cake! It was just my hubby, my sister and me but, it was a nice little celebration.

The transition back here went pretty smoothly tonight. I don't know if it's because it was his birthday and he was excited to open presents and show us what his family go him but, at least it went pretty good.

I sure did miss him and I am glad he is back! I had a pretty productive weekend and got to relax a bit, but it was weird not to have 'my little buddy' (that's what I call him sometimes)running around here for 2 days after having him here for the past 17 weeks. We didn't get much time to spend together before it was bedtime but, we will tomorrow night after work/school.

Happy 5th birthday little buddy! I love you!

Quiet house.....

Valentines Day 2010 breakfast for my 2 valentines T & J!

Today J went to visit his family for the weekend for the first time since he came to live with us 17 weeks ago... When I dropped him off at daycare this morning I gave him extra hugs and told him I would see him in 2 days. He was excited to be going to stay with them.... I got through work ok but, as I headed to my car to leave, I got a little sad knowing I wasn't going to be going to pick up my lil buddy. Yes, we have had some hard times with J but, the last couple weeks have been pretty good... He is becoming more loving, listening better and bonding more and more.... I cried today while leaving work because I was missing him already... I worry about him and I can't wait to see him on Sunday. Sunday is his birthday too. So, I hope having cake and presents will make it easier for him to come back... He said he understood he had to come back and that it was 'ok' but, only time will tell how he actually feels... DSS says this could be the pattern for a while... being with us during the week and family on the weekends.... So, we will see how it goes....


So, what are my hubby and I doing this weekend to ourselves? We went over our very good friends house tonight, tomorrow morning we are getting our taxes done, then tomorrow afternoon I am going to try to do some things around the house that I haven't had time too lately. But, I am hoping to relax a bit too....



Last Sunday was Valentines day and I made heart shaped french toast and scrapple for my 2 valentines! We didn't do much but, we gave J a little bag with some new SpongeBob books and some valentines treats.... He really liked it!



For now, I am trying to get used to a quiet house again for a few days.... I can't believe it was 17 weeks ago today J walked into our lives... We have had some tough times but, lately the good times have been getting more and more and I sure do love him!

Snow, Snow Go AWAY!!!

(A picture of a tree in our backyard during this last storm)

(A picture of a tree in our front yard during last week's storm)

(J trying to play in the snow but, it was so deep and so cold)

We have seen more snow this year in my area than we have seen in several years combined.... I don't like the cold or the snow unless I can stay home and not have to go out in it.... And it's melted by the time I do have to go out.... So, I thought I would be spending endless hours outside w/ J and begging him to go back in and get warmed up.... He hasn't really liked the snow... I think he likes snow but, we have gotten so much lately that it was too deep and too cold for him.... I think part of it too is some of the snow wasn't very good 'snowman' making snow.... So to him it's boring.... Everyday he tells me how he wishes the snow would melt... Me too!

J has been getting closer to us again... More loving and cuddily than he had been lately.... I am enjoying it of course... We have been working with him and listening to us better and things have been up and down still but, more ups than downs.....

J's birthday is less than 2 weeks away now.... We might be having a celebration this weekend but, it's not set in stone yet.... I am excited to have another thing to plan for and celebrate with him.... He is sooo excited to turn 5!

So for now not too much is going on just trying to get though all these snow storms (we might have another one tomorrow night) and preparing to celebrate J's 5th birthday.... I can't wait!

Special Bonds and Family Involvement Meeting

(J is the one holding the bat!)

Lately J has been bonding more with my hubby than I. It's ok. I still have my 'special bonds' with him. Here are some of them:

1- I don't iron. When my clothes are wrinkled, I put them in the dryer and get them unwrinkled (a trick my Mom taught me growing up!) and then put them on. One time shortly after J came to stay with us, his shirt was wrinkled. I put it in the dryer and then put it on him. Now he prefers his clothes to be 'hot' when he puts them on, so I put his clothes in the dryer for a few minutes before getting him dressed. It helps him get dressed fast because he doesn't want them to get 'cold' before he puts them on.

2- I blow dry his hair. He asked me to blow dry his hair one time, so I figured what the heck-- it doesn't hurt anything... He doesn't have very long hair so, he doesn't need it dried but, he likes it and so when he asks me to do it I do.

I was talking to a co-worker about these and she said I should break these habits because when he moves back home they may not do these things for him... I agreed at first but then told her. 'Maybe they won't. Maybe he will ask and they will think I am silly for doing these things for him-- or maybe he will always think about me and how I warmed his clothes for him and blew his hair dry...' She now agrees that it's not so bad. J has been through a lot in his life and I don't think I am hurting him by 'spoiling' him with these little special things I do.

This past Friday we had a Family Involvement Meeting. It included DSS, bio family, both foster families and a mediator. I worried how it would go but, I think it went well.....I signed a paper stating what happens in the meeting is confidential so I can't really give too many details but, I guess I can say that they have decided to keep J with us for now. The other foster family is ok with it and so is DSS and bio family. He will most likely be here for several more months since there is so much that has to happen for he & his sis to return home. We still have our good days and our not so good days with him behavior wise but, we are still just taking it one day at a time. We will be having more interaction with the family so, I hope it continues to go well.

J started his baseball class/clinic last Saturday. I forgot my camera but, took the picture above on my cell & sent it to my computer. He is doing ok.... There are only 2 in the class right now, so I think that is good to get him used to it. He doesn't do well with crowds of 'strange' kids. 2 weeks down & 6 more to go.

Thats about it for now. His birthday is coming up... So, it's exciting to me to think about hosting a birthday celebration... It probably won't be 'big' but, it will be fun anyway!

Chutes & Ladders

Happy New Year! Last year my husband had 'minor' surgery and ended up having complications (which he is still dealing with), we lost our dear friend MK and some other family/friends. On the plus side, I changed jobs (and with being there almost 6 months now seem to be settling in fine!), celebrated 10 years together, celebrated 5 years of marriage, we got our foster care/adoption certification and J came into our life. I am looking forward to the new year and wonder what it will hold for us.

That brings me to my title-- I am changing my stand saying foster care is like the game Chutes & Ladders (I think I had previously compared it to a roller coaster). The past week with J has been great he has been listening to us better, being more loving and enjoying our company as much as we have enjoyed his. For Christmas my sister bought him Candy Land and in the past couple weeks we have had to learn sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. He didn't like losing or even being behind at first but, has learned it's ok. He didn't get to exchange gifts with his sister & her foster family before Christmas because they went out of town and had to leave earlier than expected so, they did it today at his visit. They gave him a cool tool set and Chutes & Ladders. After I refreshed myself with how to play it (it's been quite a while since I played it) I explained about the chute and ladder functions. I knew this was going to be a challenge. As I thought he didn't like when I got to climb a ladder and he had to slide down a chute. Finally he won the first game with some challenges. We had to stop the second game due to some unnecessary roughness. He threw his drink across the room and a meltdown shortly followed. So, the past week or so we were climbing up a ladder and today we slid down a chute. We are past it now and working our way back up the ladder-- I hope we don't land on a chute again too soon! I am not naive though and know eventually maybe not today or tomorrow but sometime in the future we will slide down that chute.

In the past few weeks J has bonded more with my hubby and wanting him to do stuff for him instead of me (although I still do most of the 'care' things), when he gets upset my husband can calm him down faster and being 'best buddies'. It's very cute to see them together.

We found out recently that as of right now his family is being compliant to get them back. Next court date is in a few months and we are still not sure if he will be staying with us until then or transitioning to his sister's foster home. We are having a family meeting soon with all parties involved so we can figure out a plan.

J asks when he will go home to his family and we tell him that he can go back home when the case worker says he can go. As much as I love him, I know that in his heart he wants to be back with his family and I sure hope for his sake that the conditions of his return are followed through and he doesn't have to go through this again.

Last month when we went to our first foster parent meeting, J saw some kids playing pee wee football outside. It was the championship game. He has told me almost everyday since then that he wants to play. I don't think he can play until he is 6 so he has a while. It got me thinking of something he can play now. Yesterday there was an open house for a sports place near our house. The options were soccer and baseball. I asked him the other night which he would like to play and he talked about soccer for the next few days. When we got there they had soccer coaches on one side and the baseball coaches on the other. He decided he wanted to do baseball instead and got to do somethings with the coaches to see if he would like it. So, we signed him up for baseball. I am excited to see him learn and grow in this sport. It's only for 8 weeks so if he gets bored with it, he isn't committed too long.

So, for now we are playing the game and hoping to land on all ladders and no chutes.