That brings me to my title-- I am changing my stand saying foster care is like the game Chutes & Ladders (I think I had previously compared it to a roller coaster). The past week with J has been great he has been listening to us better, being more loving and enjoying our company as much as we have enjoyed his. For Christmas my sister bought him Candy Land and in the past couple weeks we have had to learn sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. He didn't like losing or even being behind at first but, has learned it's ok. He didn't get to exchange gifts with his sister & her foster family before Christmas because they went out of town and had to leave earlier than expected so, they did it today at his visit. They gave him a cool tool set and Chutes & Ladders. After I refreshed myself with how to play it (it's been quite a while since I played it) I explained about the chute and ladder functions. I knew this was going to be a challenge. As I thought he didn't like when I got to climb a ladder and he had to slide down a chute. Finally he won the first game with some challenges. We had to stop the second game due to some unnecessary roughness. He threw his drink across the room and a meltdown shortly followed. So, the past week or so we were climbing up a ladder and today we slid down a chute. We are past it now and working our way back up the ladder-- I hope we don't land on a chute again too soon! I am not naive though and know eventually maybe not today or tomorrow but sometime in the future we will slide down that chute.
In the past few weeks J has bonded more with my hubby and wanting him to do stuff for him instead of me (although I still do most of the 'care' things), when he gets upset my husband can calm him down faster and being 'best buddies'. It's very cute to see them together.
We found out recently that as of right now his family is being compliant to get them back. Next court date is in a few months and we are still not sure if he will be staying with us until then or transitioning to his sister's foster home. We are having a family meeting soon with all parties involved so we can figure out a plan.
J asks when he will go home to his family and we tell him that he can go back home when the case worker says he can go. As much as I love him, I know that in his heart he wants to be back with his family and I sure hope for his sake that the conditions of his return are followed through and he doesn't have to go through this again.
Last month when we went to our first foster parent meeting, J saw some kids playing pee wee football outside. It was the championship game. He has told me almost everyday since then that he wants to play. I don't think he can play until he is 6 so he has a while. It got me thinking of something he can play now. Yesterday there was an open house for a sports place near our house. The options were soccer and baseball. I asked him the other night which he would like to play and he talked about soccer for the next few days. When we got there they had soccer coaches on one side and the baseball coaches on the other. He decided he wanted to do baseball instead and got to do somethings with the coaches to see if he would like it. So, we signed him up for baseball. I am excited to see him learn and grow in this sport. It's only for 8 weeks so if he gets bored with it, he isn't committed too long.
So, for now we are playing the game and hoping to land on all ladders and no chutes.
I love that analogy!
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