Another year older......

Today is my 34th birthday.... Every year I tell myself: 'By my next birthday maybe I will be a Mommy' I am a little closer this year-- a Foster Mom. J still goes back and forth with calling me Mommy but, in his heart I am not his Mommy.... I just play one on TV (ha ha-- couldn't resist!)

So, I am another year older.... Not too much going on here... I do have a cute story to tell. My Mom and her boyfriend are in town this week. They were over our house for dinner on Monday night. We celebrated my birthday then because we were not sure who would be available on my actual birthday. My Dad is deceased and J knows this but, sometimes asks questions when my family is around. Here is the conversation that night:

J: Is Mr. M your Daddy?

Mr. M: No, I am not

Me: Mr. M is kinda like Mr. T & I are to you-- a substitute Dad

J: No, Mr. T is my FOSTER DAD and you are my FOSTER MOM!

It's just cute how he uses those words sometimes because I don't know he understands them but, hears us saying them and needs to know the difference in his little mind. It was cute anyway but, might be one of those 'had to be there' type of things.....

Off to have pizza night for my birthday with my family!

Father's Day at the river......

J letting the fish *kiss* his fingers....

First time on the pier and ready to fish!

Fishin'

*We* caught one!

worked up an appetite now lets eat some crabs!

Several years ago my husband's family started a tradition of spending Father's Day at his Godparents house on the river. His brother's family from PA comes down and it's a nice day with family. This year we had a *new addition* to our group. I have to admit, I was very nervous about how J would react to several people around that he didn't know well or at all... He usually doesn't do well under those types of situations.... But, J did really well! I am so proud of him!!! It was another nice (but very HOT) day with family and I am so glad J got to enjoy it with us..... Sometimes fishing off that pier can be hit or miss... Last year was good and I caught the first and the most fish!! This year J got *bored* fast with not catching any fish and asked me to *help* him which meant-- I catch the fish and *we* take the credit for it! So, sure enough we did catch a fish (the first and only of the day) and J was so proud! He loved the crabs and sat patiently so we could pick some for him.... Overall it was a great day....

We lost a member of our group this year. My hubby's Godmother passed away in March and I couldn't help but think of her today and how everyone there was missing her even though most didn't say much-- I know we were all thinking about her.... We miss you Janie!

As with Mother's Day we didn't really push it too much so J didn't start missing his family but, he did wish my hubby a "Happy Daddy's Day!" out of the blue and on his own! He loves my hubby so much and is always saying how they are *best buddies*.... I came home from a baby shower a couple weeks ago and J was sitting on his lap in the recliner and it was such a sweet moment to come home too....

J doing good... He had a rough week after seeing his family last time a couple weeks ago but, is back on track now. I reported it to DSS and don't know what will happen in the future... J has been more *loving* to us and is really starting to trust us now... He still talks about his family all the time but, he is starting to love us too! I can't believe in 2 days he has been here for 8 months! Wow! Time flies so fast now even more than before!

Graduation Day Blues......

Today was Pre-K graduation at J's *former* school..... I am a bit sad that we didn't get to celebrate J's transition into Kindergarten since he was *uninvited* to school back in April we weren't included.... So, today I have a little case of Pre-K graduation day blues.... I have seen several friends post on FB about their little ones graduation ceremonies and wish I had a story to tell too (although I do not mention much on FB-- but I could share them here if I had them!) .... They are shedding tears of joy and I am close to shedding tears of sadness that J doesn't know what he is *missing out* on.... A day to celebrate him and his accomplishments! He would've been a cute lil graduate too!

It doesn't help that the day started out with J having a meltdown and refusing to go to daycare when he had to go.... But, things are better tonight..... but, it's been pretty much a *chutes* type of day...

Summer time fun!

I love pools.... Anytime I get a chance to go in one--I am there! Sometimes I even sweet talk my hubby into staying in a hotel with one when we go away just so I can swim a little! One time when we were up PA visiting my BIL and his family in November we stayed in a Hampton Inn and my niece and I were swimming in the inside pool while it was snowing outside.... That was awesome!

My hubby and I got a YMCA membership last year but, between his health issues last year and being so busy adjusting to a 4/5 yr old we haven't used it much... I was trying to decide if it was worth keeping or not. I called a few weeks ago and asked about adding J to my membership and after about 10 questions (what type of membership did I have, how many kids do I have on it now, how long has J been with us, how long is he going to be with us.... etc) the membership lady said she would let me add him on..... I think she wanted to make sure I didn't already have 10 kids on my membership and trying to add another one.... I still didn't find time to do it.... But, yesterday I wanted to see how J would do in the pool. So, I took him there and was going to pay for a day pass to let him check it out.... I was lucky the girl working the counter let me have a *freebie* but, suggested I add J on soon..... We had such a fun time! J was scared at first and clinging on to me but, after a while he got the hang of it and didn't *need* me as much.... So, today I took him back... I think J and I will be spending a lot of time there this summer! He is now added to my account and since we both enjoy it, I think I have a pool buddy for the summer! We had a blast today too and he started getting more & more independent the more we were in there.... I don't have any pics to share because since we went by ourselves I didn't want to chance the camera getting wet..... But, trust me it was GREAT! We have been having a rough time again since J's visits with his family haven't been very consistent lately and it's been hard on him which makes it hard on us.... but, having fun days like yesterday and today make it tolerable!

Yesterday while we were in the pool we saw some of J's cousins... They just happened to be there... He talks about these cousins all the time and I think it was nice for him to be able to see them and hang out with them... I did feel bad for J at one point but, I don't think he even noticed. J asked his one cousin: "N did you miss me?" to which N responded-- "I actually forgot about you...." My heart sank but, I don't think J even heard what he said which was a good thing! But, we got to see them again today when they were there for a little while. They all were very nice to me which I was glad of because at first I thought they may question me which would make me feel uncomfortable but, they didn't!

One last *story* and then i have to go.... Today J made a *friend* and they were playing in the pool. I didn't ask him how old he was but, I would say probably 8-10 years old. At one point the little boy asked J 'Is this your Mommy?' J didn't answer so he turned to me and said "Are you his Mommy?". I simply answered "Yes" and J piped up and said "No, she is my FOSTER MOM!" And I said "It's kinda the same thing J" and the little boy said "Yes, as long as she loves you it's the same thing".... Melted my heart! I know J doesn't look at me as his *Mommy* because he has a Mommy (sometimes he does call me that but, it soon passes) but, it was so sweet to hear a *stranger* say that.....