Christmas Day

J opening gifts on Christmas morning

Playing with his new bounce back racer-- that doesn't really bounce back!

J with his new magna doodle Santa brought him!

Playing with new play dough set from Santa!

A blast from the past that Santa's elf couldn't pass up!

Today was our first Christmas with J-- our first Christmas as foster parents.... We planned and planned and now it's all done.... But, overall J had a great Christmas and got a lot of nice stuff! We talked about him letting us know he was awake so we could all come out and see what Santa brought together. I woke up around 7 am and went to check on him and although he was in bed he was awake... So, we all ventured out. He was in awe of the tree with presents all around. We opened gifts and then of course we started opening the toys one by one... When J had played with one for a few minutes he would want another one done. He loves everything (except the clothes but, what kid besides a teenage girl is excited about clothes right?) After each gift he said-- 'This is what I wanted!' Such sweet words when you worry and plan what to get and hope that it's what will make him happy on Christmas morning.

We did learn a lesson though. Listen to the Toys R Us lady when she tries to sell you batteries so you will be sure to have them on Christmas morning because you will most likely forget them and when the impatient 4 yr old wants to play with his new bounce back racer remote control care on Christmas morning you will have to send your hubby out to the Royal Farms down the street to get some and pay more for them! Hopefully this will be a lesson we won't forget! The above mentioned bounce back racer car doesn't live up to the name too much. It's supposed to flip over on the other side when it hits a wall and go in the other direction. It only flips for us when it hits the gift box with my new clothes from my in-laws that I haven't put away yet. Oh well-- J still loves it and had fun 'running' over the remote control truck he got from his family the other day when either my hubby or I were controling it.

We went to my in-laws for an early dinner this afternoon and to visit with my BIL and his family who were in town for the day and J curled up in a chair in the living room and fell asleep. I guess opening and playing with those toys in the morning wore him out! He slept most of the time we were there!

On a sadder note, a little girl named Sarah was taken from her house a few nights ago and they have been searching everywhere for her. They have a suspect in custody but, he wasn't cooperating... They asked everyone to search thier own property today to help the investigators. When we got home from my in-laws we searched our property and the empty field behind our house just to make sure. We didn't see anything but, found out later this evening they did locate her body..... I am so sad by this. You hear things like this happen and your heart goes out to those families and even though I didn't know her or her family to hear it happen in my own town really makes it hit home. My prayers go out to her family. I was thinking about MK after I heard about Sarah. MK was a daycare teacher and loved children of all ages. I hope MK was there to greet little Sarah and will look out for her. Next month will be a year since we lost MK. I can't believe it. I still think about her everyday. It will especially be hard on New Years Eve because my hubby and I spent last New Years Eve with MK and her family. Then 28 days later we lost her.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. It was a good one here!

Christmas Eve

J eating his cookies and watching the Sponge Bob Christmas show in his new Christmas Eve PJ's!

Today was Christmas Eve... I had to work a partial day (thanks to an awesome boss who let us out early!)..... J had to go to my work daycare for the first time today because his daycare was closed. He did well.... Was very shy at first in the morning but, they said he had a good day (with a few minor incidents) and he said he would like to go back again-- good thing because he is signed up for New Years Eve too!

We went to my in-laws tonight for pizza and presents. We have a tradition to exchange gifts on Christmas Eve with them and we kept it this year too. My brother-in-law and his family will be down tomorrow for the day. So dinner is at my in-laws house this year.... I am off the hook! J had fun opening his gifts and even 'helped' (or unwrapped by himself) me with my gifts.... My MIL did great again this year picking out some new tops to add to my work wardrobe! I can't wait to wear them next week!

Yesterday J had a family visit with presents too, so he is going to have 4 Christmases total once tomorrow comes! Luckily they didn't duplicate anything we had already bought for Santa to bring! I think he will be very pleased tomorrow.... Tonight he kept saying 'this is just what I wanted' after opening each gift!

I will pop on tomorrow to post pics and tell you how it goes.... For now, I need to get Santa working on filling up the space under the tree! I am doing the stocking! Then I will try to rest although I am anxious to see my lil guy wide eyed tomorrow morning and ready to rip into more gifts!

Good night & Merry Christmas to all!

Christmas Cookie Making Time!

Using cookie cutters to make the cookie shapes

Decorating with colored sugar!

Some of our beautiful Christmas cookies!

Tasting our delicious treats!

Today's adventure was to make Christmas cookies for Santa Clause and us of course! I hadn't made sugar cookies in years let alone with cookie cutters! But, I knew J would have fun, so my sister came over to assist! J loved using the cookie cutters and enjoyed sprinkling colored sugar (which my hubby came up with the idea of making our own for the colors we didn't already have & it worked well! Just sugar & food dye!) and finally got to enjoy his treats once they were cooled out of the oven! We are going to pick out a few for Santa and keep those seperate so we don't eat his by mistake! We had fun doing it though and thats what counts! J was such a big helper!

We did go out once today to play in the snow but, last nights snow was the light fluffy kind not the wet snowman making kind, so J lost interest in it fast! We only got a few inches total.

Wow, another day closer to Christmas! I can't believe we are only a few days away! I am making my sister something special this year and need to get working on it! I think I will work on it when I am done here!

An Early Christmas Celebration & Snow Fun!

J ripping into the Christmas presents my Mom brought him!

J Playing with his new Hot Wheels car carpet! He loves it!

My lil sis & I on her graduation day! I am sooo proud of her!

J making his 1st snowman at our house!

Our masterpiece! Then a few moments later he destroyed it!

The last few days have been busy, exciting and fun!

Thursday 12.17.09 my Mom and her boyfriend arrived in town for my lil sister's college graduation which was Friday. We decided to celebrate Christmas a little early because my hubby & I don't feel comfortable making a 2 1/2 hr trip each way w/ J right now to celebrate Christmas. So, we decided to exchange gifts while they were in town. J had a ball opening the gifts! He ripped right into them! His fave was the color wonders coloring book & markers and his new Hot Wheels car carpet. It was a nice night with family... and makes me even more excited to see him on Christmas morning rip into his presents!

Friday 12.18.09 was both my lil sister's college graduation and J's first over night visit w/ his sisters foster family. I was so proud to watch my sister except her degree! She moved down here with my hubby & I almost 3 yrs ago to get back on track with college and she has done so well finishing with 7 A's this semester! It's been a long road for her and it has finally paid off! She will start grad school in the fall. She may be moving though and that makes me sad because I have enjoyed having her so close for the past 3 years. Then we took J for his sleep over at his sister's foster family's house. My hubby & I wanted to make it special for him so we found a 'Construction Area' theme book bag, sleeping bag, tent, and accessories to give to him before he went and he LOVES it! I let him take the book bag with his clothes in it and the sleeping bag (although I knew they had a bed for him I thought it might help having something of his too) and some of the accesories with him. He had a good time it seems... I am glad he didn't get too upset! His sister's foster family will be going out of state for the holidays so he will see her on Christmas Eve but then won't see her for a couple weeks until they return and we can set up another visit.

Today 12.19.09 it snowed! J has been asking for snow and he finally got it... I was sitting at lunch yesterday and realized I needed to get him some boots! I am so glad I did because he really used them today! He went out and played with his sister and her foster family in the morning before we picked him up then he & I went out twice at our house! We made a snowman but J kicked it down moments after I took a picture of our masterpiece! He loves the snow and wants hot chocolate to warm up with when he comes in. We are supposed to get more snow tonight (it's snowing as I type this) so I am sure it will be another day in & out! I usually dread the snow but, we don't really have to go anywhere tomorrow so, it will be nice to just stay home! J wants to make another snowman tomorrow and this one he wants to be bigger!

I can't believe we are almost 5 days til Christmas... My in-laws wrapped some of J's things for us but we still have some to wrap... I can't wait to put it all under the tree and wake up Christmas morning to watch him open them! Although I am nervous because when I picked J up from his visit @ DSS this week I heard an adult family member say they would be bringing presents to next week's visit.... I hope they don't duplicate stuff we already got for him.... But, if they do, we are prepared to make a last minute dash to the store to exchange and replace it with something else... We will see... The visit is Wednesday afternoon so who knows! Maybe we will get lucky but, I had my in-laws 'mark' each thing just in case so I can know which toy to grab and take back without having to unwrap each one!

Life is not fair.....

Things have been going pretty well with J lately.... Which makes me sad that he may be moving to another home sometime in the future (there is still a possibility he won't too... who knows!).... He gets emotional sometimes and goes to his room then comes back out but, no major meltdowns since last week visiting his sister (YAY!)....

Today we dropped J off to visit and my hubby & I got to spend the whole day together (well from 10a-5p at least!).... What did we do? We went Christmas shopping for J! I think we did well and I think he will have a good Christmas (at least I hope!).... When we dropped him off his sister's foster mom told me she found out J's Mom is pregnant again! What the-- (as J would say- he just says the What the part and doesn't finish it-- thank goodness!) Why is it that someone who can't take care of their children that they already have can get pregnant so easily but someone like me who longs for a child of my own to hold in my arms can't? It's just not fair!

For now I will love her child and care for him until DSS decides what will happen next.... Until then I will play 'Mommy' and 'Santa' with J and be grateful he is in my life for whatever time he is with us.....

This makes me think back to my own childhood.... I used to say 'It's not fair!' and my Mom would say 'Life is not fair!'..... I agree!

And the stockings were hung.....

Our stockings! The 3 cats, J's, mine, hubby's and my sisters (even though she doesn't live with us this year we still hung hers up too-- J wanted it up!)

J talking to our cat Jessie infront of our finished product!

We don't have a chimney so the next line for us is.... By the door with care. We have a 1/2 wall I call it when you walk in our front door and the top/open part is framed out. I usually hang our stockings up there. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving while my hubby was hunting J and I decorated the tree... He had been asking since Halloween to decorate for Christmas.... I told him our tradition was to do it the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It was just J and I and we put on Christmas carols and decorated our tree.... I don't think he had done it before so it was fun to have a 'helper' and I think he had fun too!


The past few weeks have been pretty good with J and his anger.... We have had less and less tantrums and more and more fun.... I think he is getting more and more comfortable with us... I found out last week that DSS wants to transition him to the foster home his sister is in after the holidays.... I do understand them wanting them to be together but, we have been doing visits w/ his sister the past few weeks and they don't get a long very well and he has told me a few times he doesn't want to go see her.... I talk him into it and he has more fun playing w/ her 4 yr old foster sister than his bio sister.... We are doing visits @ DSS with adult members of his family too... The first one he threw a tantrum afterwards and we were there over an hour getting him calmed down to leave.... Last week's he had some other issues.... I am keeping track of it and letting the case worker know.... I just worry about him finally getting comfortable here/with us and he will be moved again so soon then if the family gets him back at some point he will be moved yet again.... But, I can't stop it... I am sad thinking about it but, we have gotten to know the other foster family already with the visits and they assured me we can still keep in touch... I am trying not to think about it and just enjoy the holidays..... Some friends worry I am getting too attached.... I would agree if I ignored the fact he may leave but, I admit it will probably happen and I am not going to be an ignorant witch focusing on him leaving and be miserable while he is here making him miserable..... He is our lil guy for now and I am just going to love him and enjoy playing Santa for the first time in years! (my sis was 11 yrs younger than me so I had to help my parents play Santa as a teen for her sake!)


My hubby is still having a harder time adjusting to having a little one in our life and not being able to go and do as we wish.... I am ok with it as long as I get some breaks too like he does. I have left them together 2 times this week for a few hours and both times went well! They get to 'bond' too and I see them getting closer.... Of course before I could leave on Saturday to go to my friend's baby shower J made me pick him up about 10 times to hug/hang on me before I could leave.... Then he said I was gone too long! Tonight he did great too my hubby said... I am glad... The first time I left them together was a few weeks ago and J had a huge tantrum and I had to leave my meeting to come home quickly.... I still worry when I am out but over time I know it will get better..... I keep reminding my hubby that these changes in our life/relationship would happen even if it were our biological child in our life..... It will get easier I know....

So, with a little over 2 weeks until Christmas I am getting more and more excited to see J on Christmas morning!

I will try to blog more in the next few weeks and update on our holiday activities!