Today is my birthday.... I am 33 yrs old today.... I love my birthday and to everyone I know I am the 'only' person over the age of 21 that still loves their birthday.... It's MY day.... My special day.... As a child I had to 'share' the other holidays with my siblings and cousins but, my birthday was MINE! All MINE!
My birthday does bring some sadness though... A month after my 29th birthday my hubby and I decided to start our family and 'threw away' the birth control..... Call it being pessimistic but, I always had a 'feeling' that I would not get pregnant right away.... I had no medical basis for this until several months after we started TTC but, I think I always knew..... I tried being optimistic though and was hoping to be a Mom before my 30th birthday (or shortly after).... By the time I was 33 I would have 2 kids or be pregnant with my 2nd at least right??? Almost 4 yrs later I still have no baby or child to hold in my arms and call me 'Mama'....
I am still very hopeful that our foster care/ adoption process will bring us to our child.... We met with our case worker last week and it seems we only have the fire and health inspections left and we could be done our home study process.... She will check into why they haven't called yet.... So, we are still 'waiting'..... Do you think someone is trying to teach me patience?
So, I am 33..... I am not a Mom yet but, I am: An Infertile person living with Diabetes and Hypothyriodism that has High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol and Sleep Apnea (as of last week when I got tested and now waiting for my machine). Wow what a mouth full!
I hope this year brings a new 'title'.... I hope by this time next year I can finally say I am a Mama! But, for now-- another year is gone.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
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