Moving on......

The last time I wrote was the day before our Egg Retrieval for our 3rd IVF/ICSI cycle..... Things didn't go well the next day (10/1/08) and I haven't felt like writing since.... But, now it's different....

On 10/1/08, my part of the retrieval went well.... We retrieved 21 eggs and 19 of them were mature.... Great numbers... But, when they looked at my husband's sample there were no sperm in there. They did an 'emergency' procedure on him that afternoon and still had no success. We signed papers to freeze my eggs and left the clinic very sad and confused.... Why? Why did this have to happen to us??? The next several weeks we talked about our options and met with another Urologist who seemed to say the opposite of the Urologist who preformed his procedure... We left there with a plan for Tom to take meds and vitamins and re-test to see if they have come back.... Our insurance doesn't cover any cryopreservation (freezing of eggs or sperm) so all that would be 100% our responsibility.... It is very expensive and we would not have a guarantee that we would get pregnant either.... We discussed it and decided on Thursday November 20, 2008 to not continue with any more treatments but, to move forward and look into adoption.

This is a big step for us.... Yes, I know that I won't experience all the joys of being pregnant and feeling my little on move for the first time inside me.... Won't be the first person to look into his/her eyes..... But, Tom and I have so much love that we can give to a child who needs it..... Maybe this decision is the best for me physically too as I would've been a high risk pregnancy if I were to get pregnant....

So, our plan is to enjoy the holidays and then in January start our new journey..... I hope this one will bring us to the child we have been dreaming of.....