Graduation Day Blues......

Today was Pre-K graduation at J's *former* school..... I am a bit sad that we didn't get to celebrate J's transition into Kindergarten since he was *uninvited* to school back in April we weren't included.... So, today I have a little case of Pre-K graduation day blues.... I have seen several friends post on FB about their little ones graduation ceremonies and wish I had a story to tell too (although I do not mention much on FB-- but I could share them here if I had them!) .... They are shedding tears of joy and I am close to shedding tears of sadness that J doesn't know what he is *missing out* on.... A day to celebrate him and his accomplishments! He would've been a cute lil graduate too!

It doesn't help that the day started out with J having a meltdown and refusing to go to daycare when he had to go.... But, things are better tonight..... but, it's been pretty much a *chutes* type of day...

Summer time fun!

I love pools.... Anytime I get a chance to go in one--I am there! Sometimes I even sweet talk my hubby into staying in a hotel with one when we go away just so I can swim a little! One time when we were up PA visiting my BIL and his family in November we stayed in a Hampton Inn and my niece and I were swimming in the inside pool while it was snowing outside.... That was awesome!

My hubby and I got a YMCA membership last year but, between his health issues last year and being so busy adjusting to a 4/5 yr old we haven't used it much... I was trying to decide if it was worth keeping or not. I called a few weeks ago and asked about adding J to my membership and after about 10 questions (what type of membership did I have, how many kids do I have on it now, how long has J been with us, how long is he going to be with us.... etc) the membership lady said she would let me add him on..... I think she wanted to make sure I didn't already have 10 kids on my membership and trying to add another one.... I still didn't find time to do it.... But, yesterday I wanted to see how J would do in the pool. So, I took him there and was going to pay for a day pass to let him check it out.... I was lucky the girl working the counter let me have a *freebie* but, suggested I add J on soon..... We had such a fun time! J was scared at first and clinging on to me but, after a while he got the hang of it and didn't *need* me as much.... So, today I took him back... I think J and I will be spending a lot of time there this summer! He is now added to my account and since we both enjoy it, I think I have a pool buddy for the summer! We had a blast today too and he started getting more & more independent the more we were in there.... I don't have any pics to share because since we went by ourselves I didn't want to chance the camera getting wet..... But, trust me it was GREAT! We have been having a rough time again since J's visits with his family haven't been very consistent lately and it's been hard on him which makes it hard on us.... but, having fun days like yesterday and today make it tolerable!

Yesterday while we were in the pool we saw some of J's cousins... They just happened to be there... He talks about these cousins all the time and I think it was nice for him to be able to see them and hang out with them... I did feel bad for J at one point but, I don't think he even noticed. J asked his one cousin: "N did you miss me?" to which N responded-- "I actually forgot about you...." My heart sank but, I don't think J even heard what he said which was a good thing! But, we got to see them again today when they were there for a little while. They all were very nice to me which I was glad of because at first I thought they may question me which would make me feel uncomfortable but, they didn't!

One last *story* and then i have to go.... Today J made a *friend* and they were playing in the pool. I didn't ask him how old he was but, I would say probably 8-10 years old. At one point the little boy asked J 'Is this your Mommy?' J didn't answer so he turned to me and said "Are you his Mommy?". I simply answered "Yes" and J piped up and said "No, she is my FOSTER MOM!" And I said "It's kinda the same thing J" and the little boy said "Yes, as long as she loves you it's the same thing".... Melted my heart! I know J doesn't look at me as his *Mommy* because he has a Mommy (sometimes he does call me that but, it soon passes) but, it was so sweet to hear a *stranger* say that.....

A day at the beach!

J leading the way to the beach & carrying his beach toys!

Ummm.... not too sure about the water at first!

The Scopes guy trying to talk J into getting his picture taken...

Finally in the water.... It was cold though!

Working hard on his sand castle (and decorating it w/ sea shells)

We live 30 miles away from a pretty popular resort/beach town.... Every year they have a Sprin and Fall car 'cruise in'.... My hubby go down each time they have it.... Friday night J & I met my hubby down there after work and hung out. We grabbed a bite to eat with our good friends and looked at cars.... Yesterday, I decided since it was going to be nice but, not too hot to take J to the beach during the day.... He loved it and wanted to know if we could come back 'tomorrow'.... He wasn't too sure about the water at first but, then he loved it... We didn't venture out too far but, he had fun being in it! He played in the sand and just enjoyed the whole thing...

When we were done at the beach we met my hubby and watched more classic/muscle cars drive up and down the strip. J loved seeing all the 'race cars'.... J made friends with 2 boys who were sitting next to us and then some more of our friends came with their daughter and son and J became friends with them... They played so nice together! He wanted to see them again today but, we didn't get a chance..... It was a nice day!

While we were at the beach, one of those Scopes guys tried to get J to let him take his picture but, J didn't want too... When they guy came back by us J stopped him and let him take some pics.... I got a really cute one of J! I only wish I could show it on here b/c it is really adorable!

Today we just hung out at home getting things done and being lazy... We all had a late night last night and were pretty tired.....

Mother's Day 2010 (a little late.....)

Having fun w/ 'cousin' Rachel!

Climbing.... He likes to climb!

Climbing again!

Mother's Day gift from my Sister-in-law

This year for Mother's Day my In-laws, hubby, J and I took a day trip to PA to see my Brother-in-law and his family. It's a 3 hr drive each way and this was our first time traveling this type of distance with J. He did very well! We set him up in the back of our SUV with the DVD player, and toys....

My neice and nephew are teenagers so, he didn't really have anyone to play with but, my neice did go with us to a playground not too far from where they live and he got to play. It was a bit chilly out but, he loved having the playground to himself!

My Sister-in-law surprised me by giving me a gift similar to the one she gave my MIL. It's pictured above.... It was very sweet of her!

J slept most of the way back and overall it was a nice day... It was the first time since I have been in the family (almost 11 yrs now) that we have all spent Mother's Day together.... It was nice to be with everyone even for a little while!

Permanency Review Hearing......

Today my hubby and I attended our first 'Permanency Review Hearing' as foster parents.... It was interesting.... Due to confidentiality of course I can't disclose details but, what I can say is the Judge was a no nonsense type of guy.... He acknowledged us twice (we were the only ones for the 3 foster families in attendance) and thanked us for taking a 'troubled' child into our home.... It was nice to be 'recognized'..... It was also interesting watching and hearing everyone.... There were 3 lawyers-- One for the agency, One for the kids & One for bio parents. They all took turns 'grilling' the case worker who did quite well I thought. I learned our 'new' case worker has only been with the agency since Dec 09 and she told me this afternoon during our home visit that it was her first time really testifying....

So, the long and short of it is, we go back in 5 months and see what happens then.....

5 years ago today.....

This is what my sister and J gave me as an early Mother's Day gift today... Perfect!

5 years ago this week I made a choice.... I quit smoking. I wanted to quit smoking before we started TTC so that I would not be one of those ladies you see visably pregnant and smoking... I didn't want my child to learn that smoking is bad for you in school and question me why I still do it..... 5 years ago I made a choice that I needed to for me but, my motivation was for my future... The future I have not reached yet..... I do feel a lot better than when I was a smoker... I am not going to lie-- sometimes I think about starting again when things get stressful and I need a release.... But, then I think about how hard it was to stop (and I had help w/ medicine but, I still did it!) and how many times I *tried* to quit before then and failed.... Sometimes though, I *forget* I was a smoker.... Tonight I saw a commercial about quitting smoking and I *remembered* that I used to be there.... 5 years ago that was me struggling with my addiction... But, now 5 years later I am still smoke free!

Above is a picture of a Angel's Embrace Willow Tree figurine one like my sister gave me from her & J today as an early Mother's Day gift.... It was so sweet and perfect for my life right now..... Thank you K & J! I love you both so much!

They call me Spider.....

J investigating a family of Geese before our FC brunch

Trying to see how close he can really get!

They got tired of us following them all around so they jumped in the water and swam away!

Last Saturday was our Foster Parent Brunch our county hosted for us.... It was nice.... We did a simulation project that showed us some of the obstacles bio parents face and made us more aware of what they go through.... It was a very good excercise! J did well too... He got to see his older sister because her foster family was there too so that was a nice surprise for both of them.... It had been about 2 weeks since they had seen each other.... They gave each family a nice Foster Care month pin... I tried to take a pic so I could upload it but, it kept coming out fuzzy so, I decided not to post it... It is a pretty pretty medium/teal blue ribbon with a pin that says:

'Foster Care change a lifetime National Foster Care Month'

We also met some new foster families we had never met before and saw a couple friends that were in our class.... It was very nice overall!

Now onto the title of this entry.... Last night while I was cleaning up dinner my hubby went outside with J so he could play in his sandbox. I looked out the window and saw J standing outside the box talking away and my hubby was over by the garage.... I didn't open the window to see what they were discussing.... While I was reading J his books before bed, he told me his name was now 'Spider'.... I asked him if I had a new name too and he said 'Yes, you're name is 'Tato Head'... I asked if my hubby had a new name and he said 'Yes, he is 'Napkin'..... So, when my hubby came in to tell J good night we told him our new names.... Later after J was asleep my hubby and i were discussing our new names and he said 'I don't know why he is calling himself Spider, he was scared of them and barely played in his sandbox.....' We both had a laugh because J tries to act tough but, we found out what makes him not so tough!

We are still Spider, Tato Head & Napkin-- my name makes me think of a Ron White comedy skit.......