Monday, Monday....

This morning my hubby and I took J to preschool... We got to see his room and meet his teacher... She is very nice and seems very caring.... When we went to leave, J hugged me tight and for the first time gave me a kiss on the cheek.... I have been very careful to let him decide if what/when he wanted to show 'affection' to us... Then I got to work and the case worker called to see how the weekend went.... She also told me that J will most likely be with us a little while longer but eventually leave..... They want to keep him, his older sister and a younger sibling together (younger sibling isn't removed yet but, I guess they think it may happen soon) so they will be looking for a foster home that can care for them all.... I totally understand but, feel bad because we only have room for 2 children so we can't even have the option...

I tried to be strong but, I have to admit I broke down a few times at work today (thank goodness for having my own office now) thinking about how he is too young to understand that we do care for him, and that he didn't do anything wrong.... it's nobody's fault.... It's just a crazy situation.... There will be a 'team' meeting tomorrow that they would like one of us attend.... I am going to see if I can get off to go.... I just hope I can be strong through it....

My hubby is sooo supportive.... he knows this will be hard for me..... I thought I would be ok when I said yes but, you just see this cute little boy that is lovable and you just forget for a moment that he may leave you...... I don't know if I can go through this again.... But, I am not sure I can give up my dream of being a Mommy....

I hope I can get the strength to get through the meeting tomorrow ok... I will let you know how it goes....

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers..... They are much appreciated!

2nd full day w/ J!

J looking at some animals at the zoo.
Swinging on the swings!

Climbing like a big boy on the ropes!

Today we took J to the zoo and playground in our town.... It's just a little zoo but, big enough to see some animals... there is a playground right next to it so we let him play there too... He had fun and it was a nice fall day to go... We saw monkeys, alligators and bears-- Oh my!

On the flip side we did have a few trying times today but, we made it through with only 1 time out! I think it was harder on me to make him take the time out then it was on him (doesn't everyone say that??) But for the most part he is a very good & loving boy who seems more attached to me than my hubby....

We will find out tomorrow what his plan is.... I just want to know... I am taking it day buy day at this point....

Well, he is asleep and now it's time for me to go to bed too... First day getting a 4 yr old and myself ready for work/school.... We are both going to drop him off so we can find out some info in case we have him for a bit longer....

Above are some pics from today. Enjoy!

First full day doing foster care.....

J Riding on the wagon after buying pumpkins!
J pulling the wagon to the register to buy his pumpkin- such a big boy!

Picking out his pumpkin after having fun in the maze/play area!

Going in the hay tunnel!

Leading the way through the corn maze!

Today was our first full day with J as foster parents.... The weather called for rain all day so I wasn't quite sure what we would do. We woke up and made pancakes.... I made J's in the shape of Mickey Mouse and he loved it! Then we got ready and since it looked okay out we decided to go to a local farm and get J a pumpkin and they also had a corn maze there for kids too... We got there and they had hay stacks to climb on & through, mazes, games.... so much to do! We did it all! J had so much fun! Then we let him pick out his own 'big' pumpkin and also a smaller one that he can carry too. Then we went to where my sister was working and J got a spider painted on his face.... Then we went back home to watch-- more Sponge Bob! J loves Sponge Bob! We spent the rest of the afternoon at home and this evening my sister came over and helped J carve his pumpkin we bought him.... All in all it was a great day! J told me he likes staying with us and tonight during his bath he even said the 'L' word! He is such a good boy! Don't get me wrong he is a 4 yr old and has to be redirected sometimes but, overall he is good! I am anxious to see what will happen come Monday.... I keep telling myself he may have to leave, but, wouldn't mind if he stayed a bit longer :0) Above are pics from today.... for privacy reasons I won't show his face but, you can see he had a blast!

'The Call'

Today I was on my way home from work and my cell phone rang.... I saw the number and knew it was DSS! I answered not knowing what the result would be.... The resource worker introduced herself and told me she was calling for a possible placement... She told me that a 7 yr old girl and 4 yr old boy were being removed from a relative placement..... She told me all the info they had about both and said she had a placement for the girl but, that home couldn't take both so she wanted to know if we would be willing take the boy 'J'.... it's respite care right now but, will find out next week what the 'plan' will be. He is an adorable little boy. When the worker dropped him off she warned us he can be a handful and we have to be 'stern' with him but, she said he might 'honeymoon' good with us because there are no other children in the home. He arrived about 6:45pm and since then we have watched Sponge Bob, got a bath & PJ's on, ate some cookies and milk and now he is in bed.....

1st night down and so far so good.... Now, we have to figure out how to entertain him for 2 days! It's supposed to rain tomorrow so, we will have to find something inside to do....

So, we got 'the call' we had been waiting for and I am ok knowing this might be just temporary and he might leave in a few days...

I am going to try to get some sleep now! Big day tomorrow entertaining a 4 yr old!

This is me being Patient....

(the picture we used for our home study file w/ DSS)

(The approval letter that came with our license)

(Our license!)

(The envelope our license came in! On my hubby's birthday & I let him open it!)

So, several posts ago I mentioned I am trying to learn how to be more patient and wait for things to happen.... It's still hard.... Yes, we are finally licensed..... But, everyday each time the phone rings I take a deep breath thinking-- This could be the call that will change our lives.... Of course that call hasn't come yet.... No calls from DSS have come yet....

I thought while I am 'waiting' I would post some pics... I have seen/read/followed a few blogs that people 'document' every step of the process and then plan to print it out for their child to have as a keepsake.... Above are pics I took when we got our license in the mail! Sorry about all the white spots but, I didn't want some info to be shown on here for privacy reasons! This was the only way I could think to block it out-- sorry it's a little messy :-)

Hope you enjoyed the pics.... sorry I didn't post them sooner! Hopefully we will get a 'call' soon!

We got mail!

Our official 'license' arrived in the mail today! It's my hubby's birthday so I let him open it! It is so nice to be done w/ the home study process.....

Thanks for the congrats and good wishes!

Verbal Confirmation Received!

The day we have been waiting for since January came today.... Our home study case worker called me this morning and told me we have been approved and she is putting our license in the mail today.... YAY! I was SOOO happy.... My hubby's birthday is tomorrow and I was hoping we would be licensed by then, and we are!

Although I am very happy and excited this day has come, I keep telling myself it could take some time to get a placement at all let alone one that is within our requests....

But, for today this feels great! We couldn't do anything else with out this news so, I am happy! Secretly hoping a placement comes soon though ;-)