Another year gone....

Today is my birthday.... I am 33 yrs old today.... I love my birthday and to everyone I know I am the 'only' person over the age of 21 that still loves their birthday.... It's MY day.... My special day.... As a child I had to 'share' the other holidays with my siblings and cousins but, my birthday was MINE! All MINE!

My birthday does bring some sadness though... A month after my 29th birthday my hubby and I decided to start our family and 'threw away' the birth control..... Call it being pessimistic but, I always had a 'feeling' that I would not get pregnant right away.... I had no medical basis for this until several months after we started TTC but, I think I always knew..... I tried being optimistic though and was hoping to be a Mom before my 30th birthday (or shortly after).... By the time I was 33 I would have 2 kids or be pregnant with my 2nd at least right??? Almost 4 yrs later I still have no baby or child to hold in my arms and call me 'Mama'....

I am still very hopeful that our foster care/ adoption process will bring us to our child.... We met with our case worker last week and it seems we only have the fire and health inspections left and we could be done our home study process.... She will check into why they haven't called yet.... So, we are still 'waiting'..... Do you think someone is trying to teach me patience?

So, I am 33..... I am not a Mom yet but, I am: An Infertile person living with Diabetes and Hypothyriodism that has High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol and Sleep Apnea (as of last week when I got tested and now waiting for my machine). Wow what a mouth full!

I hope this year brings a new 'title'.... I hope by this time next year I can finally say I am a Mama! But, for now-- another year is gone.

'Happy Birthday MK'

Today would've been my friend MK's 41st birthday.... I miss her so much and have been thinking of her all day (like I do everyday).... I hope she is at peace.... Some times I wish I could talk to her one more time and tell her how much I miss her..... I can't believe that this Thursday she will be gone 4 months already.... Last year her b-day was on Memorial day and we celebrated it with her family....

My hubby came home from the hosptial today! He was in there 1 full week... It was one of the longest week in a long time.... I missed having him here with me and tonight I am appreciating having him back here!

Just wanted to 'wish' MK a happy birthday and give an update on my hubby!

Sorry for my absence.....

I am sorry I haven't written an update lately.... My husband had a hernia repair surgery on March 10th and since then he has had several complications.... just as it seems he has turned a corner to getting well-- WHAM! something else happens.... Today was one of those days.... About 2 weeks after his surgery, we had to take him to the ER to see if he had a blood clot in his leg... Tests the next day at the hospital confirmed one but, in the 'superficial' vein... more bed rest and meds given and it got better..... then a few days later is when his wound 'opened up' and the Dr found the infection.... 2 weeks of Dr appt's later and they decide it's not healing so, he had to have the surgery again... They took out the old and put in brand new.... That was 4 weeks ago yesterday.... This time he had to stay in the hospital a few days to get IV antibiotics run through him to help prevent an infection.....This time we seemed to be on track! He was released to go back to work yesterday (5/18/09).... After almost 10 weeks of being off he was ready to get back to 'real' life.... Over the weekend we noticed his left leg was swollen but, thought it was his body getting used to being more active after being off of his legs for weeks..... But, last night when he came home from work his leg was still very swollen and now very red..... He rested it and this morning since it seemed to be no better (the redness had even spread more) we decided to get it checked out.... His PCP first thought it was an infection or cellulitis... He wanted to be sure and sent us to the ER for possible IV antibiotics to fight the 'infection'.... The ER Dr seemed to think the same thing but, just to be safe ordered a 'Doppler' of his leg to check for leg clots... GUESS WHAT??? They found 2 blood clots this time in the 'deep vein' and one was above his knee and the other below the knee (I now know the ones above the knee are the ones they worry about and could move to other parts of the body that we don't want them too) So, they have admitted him again to run more IV antibiotics and started him on blood thinners.... I don't know how long he will be in... It's so hard to see him not feeling well and not be himself.... I hope this works and he will be feeling 'as good as new' in no time....

So, the last I posted we had just had our first visit with the home study case worker.... Since then she did her individual interview w/ my husband on April 30th... He was nervous before it but, afterwards said it went well.... My individual interview was on May 11th and I feel it went well too..... A lot of questions about my childhood and early adult life up til now... I did very well recounting our infertility/IVF journey with out getting emotional.... I was proud of myself.... She told me that day too that she sent out our reference questionnaires and will follow up with them as she got them back.... The next step is waiting for the health and fire inspectors to call and schedule those appointments and another meeting (at least) with her to do more paperwork/questionnaire..... So, that's where we are at for now.... I don't have any dates set but, hoping to get the calls soon to get moving on this again....

Another thing that has been on my mind besides my hubby getting better is my friend MK.... I still think about her EVERYDAY.....Next Tuesday (May 26th) would've been her birthday she would've been 41.... I remember celebrating her 40th last year on Memorial Day at her sister's house.... It was a surprise..... I really do think we did get her.... We were so happy to share this milestone with her.... Also, next Thursday (May 28th) will be the 4 month anniversary of her death.... I do not know if I will ever get over loosing her... She was such a good person..... I miss her so!

Well, that's all I have for now.... I will try to be better at posting as things happen and not have to do a 'catch up' post but, right now in this stage of the process it's more waiting then action.... But, I am hopeful that this will lead us to a child that will become forever ours.... We just have to wait and see....

1st Home Study Visit....

Today we had our 1st home study visit for the foster care/ adoption process... I got nervous because our case worker was late for our appt. After waiting a half hour and worrying that I had the wrong date and/or time for our visit I called the office and she said there was an emergency and she would be there in just a few minutes....

Once she arrived things went well. She started by doing a brief 'Home Health Report' on our house and property. She did not find anything she felt the health inspector or fire marshall would find wrong....

She asked us some background questions and then set up our appointments to interview my husband & I separately.... His appointment is next Thurs 4/29/09 and mine is scheduled for 5/11/09. She is also going to submit for our health inspection and fire marshall inspections to be completed. She said they would contact us for those dates and times...

So, visit #1 went well and I am ready for the next step!

Got the baby furniture.... Just need the baby!

Here are some pictures I have been meaning to add.... We invested in some gently used baby furniture from a close friend's daughter.... We've got it set up in the room....

We still need to get some decorations and make it more 'child' friendly but, we will get there!

Our first home study visit is still set for this Thursday(4/23/09) @ 3:30 p.m. Can't wait!

Another step further.....

We took another step today! I received a call first thing this morning from the home study case worker saying she received our paper work that we sent back and was calling to set up our first appt with her.... We made it for April 23rd, 2009!

I was so happy to hear from her again so soon! I am hoping the rest of the process goes smoothly & quickly too!

One step forward......

The call came! I just heard from the case worker that will be doing our home study! She was one of our trainers in PRIDE class and I really was hoping she would be the one to do our home study!

She called to say that the first step is to send us a questionaire for both my hubby & I to fill out individually and then send back in. She will review them and make notes of any questions she has and then call us to set up the appt for our first visit with her! So, today I feel like we took one step forward.... I have a face and a name to put behind 'home study case worker' now!

I am sooo excited! I teared up a bit when telling my hubby and a couple close friends at work....

I know it's a small step but, right now I will take it!