Rest In Peace MK......

Yesterday a good friend of mine died.... It was very sudden and she was only 40 years old.... I have lost a lot of people in my life (mostly family) but, other than relatives, I have never lost someone I was close too and saw/talked too all the time.... I just saw her on Monday night.... We were just texting back & forth to her the night before.... I am so sad that I will never get to see her again.... We would sit and talk and joke and laugh....

She was 8 yrs older than I but, had been married for 20 yrs with a great husband and 2 teenage boys.... I often sought advice from her because she seemed to know a lot and she was willing to share her thoughts/advice.... She was such a nice person and would help anyone who needed it... She was a wonderful Mom and Wife... I hope that if I am fortunate to one day become a Mommy that I can be half as good as she was.... I know her husband and sons will miss her so much and be lost without her....

My husband has known her and her husband a lot longer than I and so we went to the house yesterday to check in on the family, offer our condolences and see if there was anything we could do.... It was just a sad house..... We talked about her and told a few stories but, the whole time I was there I was thinking... I will never be in this house w/ her again.... I am trying to focus today but, it's so hard.... I just keep thinking of my dear friend and how much I miss her already....

After we visited the family, my hubby and I went to our 4th class for the Foster Care/Adoption program... The topic-- Loss and how to help children through it..... I kept thinking how ironic it was that I was trying to keep myself together and all I could think about was my loss that I was coping with that day.... I didn't mention it because I was afraid I would loose it in front of everyone....

Rest In Peace MK-- I miss you so much already! I will never forget you!

2 classes down..... 7 more to go!

We started our foster care/ adoption classes last week (1/7/09)... The first one was an introductory class..... Last night was class #2.... We talked about and received our paper work to start working on..... Looking at that packet, I got goose bumps.... This is really happening! We are getting closer and closer to realizing our dream of becoming parents! It's a lot of work and getting things together but, as I told my husband last night after class when he said 'It's a lot to do'.... 'It will be worth it!' and he agreed.

So, I think I will take it step by step and try not to get too over whelmed with the process.... Some of it like the application and financial stuff is lengthy but, others are simple and just need a signature or are copies of items (such as driver's licenses, marriage certificate and insurance verification)

Up to now I have felt like we were taking 'baby steps' in this process..... Last night I feel like we took a big step by receiving this packet to start filling out..... We are on our way now!

2009 already?

2009 has begun... Ok, so it began almost a week ago and I am a little bit late writing this! I feel like 2009 could finally be our year.... In 2009 we will:

1) Celebrate 10 yrs being together.
2) Celebrate 5 yrs being married.
3) Become licensed as Foster care/ Adoptive parents

I hope 2009 will bring us meeting our future child..... We started our classes tonight.... It will be a few months until we are licensed completely (the classes are 9 weeks themselves) but, I feel so positive about this....

My moto for this year....

Hoping 2009 brings dreams coming true!

I sure hope it proves to be right! Happy belated New Year my family and friends..... May all your dreams come true this year too!

Almost Christmas......

This past Sunday my family came down to our house to celebrate Christmas.... It was the first time we hosted Chistmas at our house.... Tom and I did a lot to prepare last week and my sister Kerri (who lives with us and is going to college down here) helped quite a bit too....

Sunday was a success.... Everyone had a good time and said the food was delicious too! While standing there with my family around I couldn't help to reflect that hopefully next year we will be celebrating our 1st Christmas with a child in our home... One that will eventually be ours forever....

I am hoping this is our last 'Childless' Christmas and look forward to seeing the wonder in their eyes on Christmas morning.....

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!

Count down to classes is on!

Last night my husband & I attended an information session for the Foster Care -Adoption classes for our county that we have to take.... They are held on Wednesday evening starting January 7th for 9 weeks....

After the holidays are over our life will be filled with classes, interviews, homestudies, inspections, finger printing and paper work.... but, at the end we will be ready for when a placement becomes available.....

So, the count down is on..... 20 days til classes start and counting!

A friend of a friend.......

The other week my hubby and I went to our friend's house for dinner and told them of our plans to not proceed with any more fertility treatments and look into foster care- adoption. It so happens that a friend of theirs has been going through the same program in our county.

My friend contacted her friend and forwarded her e-mail address to me. I contacted her and she has given me some very good information as to how to get started with this process... She seems very glad to help and answer any questions we may have. It's so nice to 'talk' to someone who has been through it (and in my area too!).....

The first piece of advice she gave me was to sign up for PRIDE classes (not sure yet what they stand for) and to get a good caseworker. She recommended her's and per my request forwarded our information to him. I had not heard from him and it's been almost a week, so today I called him. He referred me to the recruiter who I had to leave a message for.... Her message said a packet will be sent out....

So, now I guess I just wait for that and see what it has for us! I am used to waiting although I am not a real patient person.... But, I will wait for this packet...... Glad I called now instead of waiting until January.....

I guess that is what you call taking 'baby steps'.....

Being Thankful......

Last week was Thanksgiving.... I had a much needed long weekend.... I spent some time at home alone, relaxing (my hubby was deer hunting part of the weekend) and I tried to reflect on the 'good' and not the 'bad' in our lives....

I am first of all thankful for my husband.... He is supportive, loving and most of all my best friend.... We have been through a lot together in the past 9 yrs of being together and 4 yrs of being married.... We get through it but, sometimes we have some bumps along the way.... He has been my rock through this whole TTC ordeal.... He has been there to hold me when I cry or listens when I am angry because we did not succeed in getting pregnant again! He has given me shot after shot and still 'grieved' with me when the IVF's have failed..... He is my everything....

I am thankful for the rest of my family (both near and far) and even for those who aren't with us anymore for being a part of my life....

I am thankful for my friends.... My longtime friends that have been through thick and thin with me and my BBC girls who 'listen' to all my hopeful expectations and comfort me when I fall..... Sometimes I don't know where I would be with out this group of ladies......

And, in this economic time I am also thankful for my job.... I have a good job that I enjoy!

As much as I am thankful for all that I have..... I want more.... I want to be a 'Mommy' to more than my cats (although I love them like they are my children!).... I just feel like I have more love to share......

Tom and I decided to wait until January to start the next steps in our process.... I love the holidays.... But, this year I am anxious to get the holidays over with so Tom & I can start on our new journey to hopefully find a child that will one day be ours!